The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have or But 1, "friends?
That's just showing off. The Town Crier. Me, and the , other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff. The TMIer. Thanks for sharing. The Bad Grammarian. Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world.
And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron. The Sympathy-Baiter. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.
The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.
The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. The Paparazzo. Then there are the weirdos who never interact with you, but clearly know what you are doing.
Even worse, they may be imitating your posts cause they saw you scored, say, 50 likes. So for example, I have a friend back east.
He lives, in say, Philadelphia, and he has a sister-in-law who is petty, hyper-competitive, etc. Yes, and that is just the start. The PageBooker : You know the type. You meet some dude or mamasita in your yoga class. They seem normal. They send a friend request. The next thing you know, a tidal wave of requests come in, cause Bertha or Herbert from yoga want you to join their page, or in reality, PAGES.
Unfortunately these types are like a bad rash that refuse to go away, cause like that rash, they spread, get under your skin and expand all over the place. The NewsBooker : In this competitive world, someone always has to be the first to share information.
From the person who is always fishing for compliments to the acquaintance who checks in everywhere he goes, here are the 26 most maddening "friends" you'll find on Facebook. They're the reason Mark Zuckerberg created an unfollow button. The one who falls for obvious hoaxes The friend who copies and pastes those Facebook privacy statements is the same person who links to " Breaking Bad is coming back for another season!
The one who is "thrilled to officially announce" his important life decisions. The one who is purposely vague about her good news On the other hand, " Just got the greatest news! We're mildly curious about your life, but don't make us pry for details. Just tell us your damn news already. The one who shills for his shitty pyramid scam We didn't sign up the first, 10th, or th time you posted about your overpriced miracle workout shakes.
Chances are we're not interested this time either. The one who blatantly fishes for compliments Buddy, you have a six-pack.
You're not allowed to post "feeling fat today" selfies. The one who changes her profile picture four times a day Oh, good. For a second there, we forgot what you looked like.
The one who creates a GoFundMe for every single one of his problems. The one who compulsively checks in everywhere you go Thanks, human GPS, but we don't need our bosses to know we went to 11 bars—and fine, McDonald's—on a Tuesday night.
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